Introduction to Lo Sachmod 

Everyone knows that the last of the Ten Commandments is “Lo Sachmod – You shall not covet your fellow man’s house… his wife, his servant, his maidservant, his ox, his ass and everything that your fellow man has.”The second time that the Torah relates the Ten Commandments (in Parshas Va’eschanan) the Torah uses a different expression, “Lo siss’aveh.”

There are various opinions in Chazal as to what are the parameters of these two prohibitions.

The classic commentators on the Torah (Ibn Ezra, Sforno, Rabbenu Bachye, Beis Halevi) interpret the prohibition of Lo Sachmod to be the desiring of an item that belongs to someone else. According to this understanding, it is forbidden even to desire to own any item that is in the possession of someone else.

As such, the commentaries grapple with a difficult question. Although it is understandable for the Torah to instruct a person as to what to do or not do, how can the Torah instruct a person as to what to think? Surely a person’s thoughts are beyond his control! How can one be commanded to not even desire someone else’s property?

Ibn Ezra answers by pointing out that no-one ever wants to marry his own mother, even if she is beautiful. The reason for this is because one is conditioned from an early age that it is not possible to marry one’s mother – and so the thought never occurs and the desire is non-existent. Similarly, a simple peasant never desires to marry the king’s daughter, however attractive she may be, because he knows that there is no way that such a marriage would ever take place; furthermore, even if it were ever to happen, the huge disparity in background and upbringing would ensure that it would quickly end disastrously.

A person must realize that property owned by another is intrinsically not his. Moreover, if he were to have it, it would not be to his advantage – which is why Hashem has given it to someone else. Such deep-seated faith in Hashem’s providence will automatically negate any coveting of another’s property or situation, for the impossible – owning something destined by Heaven for someone else – does not come in to question.

In Halachah, though, the Poskim regard the prohibition of Lo Sachmod in a completely different light.

Some say that one transgresses Lo Sachmod only if one takes someone else’s property without permission and does not pay for it. (As such one transgresses the prohibition of Lo Sachmod as well as the prohibition of stealing.)

Others rule that Lo Sachmod refers to the actual action of persuading the owner to sell you his property when he doesn’t really want to. (According to this view, the prohibition of Lo siss’aveh is actually a separate injunction, forbidding one to even think about how one might persuade the owner to sell his property.)

It should be borne in mind that the underlying principle of this mitzvah is Emunah – faith in Hashem, Who apportions to each and every person what is intended for him, and a realization that what belongs to his fellow man will not – nay, cannot bring him any happiness. Internalizing this message and strengthening one’s Emunah will ensure that one will observe this fundamental mitzvah fully yet effortlessly.

Lo Sachmod & Tradebacks

By: Rav Yehonoson Dovid Hool 

QUESTION:

Dear Rabbi,

I gave an old item of mine to a friend as a gift and bought a new one for myself. A few months later, I realized that for personal reasons, I prefer the old item to the new one. Am I now allowed to ask my friend if he would be willing to trade items with me? The new item is actually of better quality than the old one.

My friend has told me on several occasions how much he likes the item I gave him. In asking him if he would be willing to make the trade, am I allowed to tell him that the new item is more expensive and of better quality than the used one I gave him? By desiring and attempting to get my old item back (which is not mine anymore), am I violating “lo sachmod”(you shall not covet) or some other prohibition?

Thank you very much.

ANSWER:

One who desires another person’s belongings and attempts to obtain them transgresses the commandment of lo sisaveh (Devorim 5:18). If one merely desires something but makes no attempt to obtain it, the Shulchan Aruch rules that one does not violate this prohibition. If one takes action, however, and successfully pressures the owner to give or sell the item, then one has transgressed lo sachmod (Shemos 20:14).

If one desires an item, it is permitted to approach the owner to ask him if he would like to sell it. The prohibition only applies when one pesters and pressures him until he finally agrees to sell it or give it away. Persuading him via others, such as getting a friend, associate, or influential person to persuade him is also forbidden.

Now returning to your question, it is permitted to request your friend to switch it back, however to pester or pressure would be prohibited.